Pigs Salute at Ban Ho Entrance Gate in Sapa
In the Western World, with many marriages ending up in divorce, more and more couples ask themselves what it takes to get married and to make it last. Some even wonder why should they bother getting married. In Vietnam, marrying the right man to get abroad is more problematic than getting divorced. The emigration obsession is so high now that it becomes a lure for many young girls to rush into a blind lifetime decision. For young men, getting married is hardly speakable when the social requirements for an engagement could not be met.
If you are not an expatriate or a foreigner, you may find many challenges to overcome. The Murphy law about dating in Vietnam has shaped the way young women set out their criteria. Like in any modern societies, the guy must be educated, has a well paid job and projects himself as a trend follower if not a trend setter: always calls his date on a latest cell phone model, takes her out with an expensive motorcycle and the blessing of the family surely will follow.
But not all stories about dating and getting married in Vietnam are that sophisticated. In the country side where traditions still govern, people mate easily and get married. Poultry, farm animals and / or land usually are the most popular wedding presents requirements and celebrations usually last for three days. While in urban areas where the groom arrives at the bride's house on his wedding day, bearing wedding presents of jewelry, clothing and money, in Sapa, Northern Vietnam, I've learned that four Pigs are what a groom of the tribal Tay should bring with him. Raising pigs is part of the traditional agrarian economy which is based on family farms and Pigs mean prosperity as each Pig could in turn give birth to piglets to be sold on the market for 30US$ when each one reaches about 20 kilograms in weight. Pigs also represent Happiness as matrimonial life of the ethnic minorities has always been harmonious. Divorce is rare since men and women seem to find compatible partners to share an everlasting love...
Dating Tips for Single Men: The Piu Scarf
Marrying somehow still requires four Pigs.
Pigs are perceived as bad and dirty animals by some religions. Despite such beliefs and strict practices against the use / consumption of Pigs, In Vietnam and largely in the globe, they contribute positively in our lifestyle, from delicacies for weddings or festivities to the image of Happiness and Prosperity: delightful ways to encourage savings often are represented with Piggy banks / Money boxes made of ceramic earthenware and funny Wedding Congratulations Cards now contain Lots of hogs and kisses!.
There is no absolute commandment about the Pig's Image, either should it be banned from our sights or should it be worshiped for all the good things it brings us. In Pledge of human acceptance, Vietnamese pot bellied pig has proven to be a very intelligent, active pet that has a mind of it's own, and can provide many hours of entertainment into the household (*). As to an everlasting love, there is no secret nor a magic number to quantify what we must give to love or to be loved. Probably what matters the most is When and How we gave each other, "Timely and effectively, sometimes giving more with less..".
To close this story on a philosophical note, there is a factual promotional statement to share and to reflect on, and it was used by a Jeans Manufacturer in the mid 80's which claimed the durability of its Jean versus others by comparing it with an Eternal Love:
"Some love come and go, others last for ever...".
(But you have to wear it once to check it out!. That's marketing!)
Pham Do Trieu
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(*) "Vietnamese Potbelly pigs are a dwarf swine breed which were developed in the 1960's from the breed of Vietnam. They were originally brought into Sweden and Canada and have since moved into a number of countries, including the USA in 1986".
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